Bubble Wrapping....
Recently I saw this article circulating on FB:
http://pebblechaser.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/destroying-your-childs-heart-one-fb-picture-at-a-time/
I think it has some really great points. I felt bad for some of the “public shames” or mocking’s I had done
(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2921708800961&l=7a971dc0cc)
However after I thought about it for a few days I realized that I’m not going to feel guilty about my mocking’s. Here is why- the other day Coleman, with his OCD tendencies, had touched something that made him freak out. He panicked. He ran to get a napkin and was in such a panic he couldn’t even get it open. After several moments of flopping the napkin around and screeching, he looked up to find me staring at him. My response,”Geee..How do I’s Napkins?”
Could I have coddled him and ran over and opened the napkin, hugging him and telling him all will be right with the world? Sure, I could have, just not my style and I will explain why. I mocked him. I pointed out that he merely needed to calm down and open the napkin, that he was not going to die. After I said ‘how do I napkins?’, Coleman giggled and calmly opened the napkin. He forgot himself for a moment. He forgot to panic; he was able to laugh at himself.
I am a firm believer in laughing at ones self.
I’ve taught my kids to laugh at themselves. How? Laughing at them and encouraging others to laugh as well. Of course you have to realize the difference between hurtful bulling and a good fun ribbing. You also have to know your child and the situations.
Coleman lost a front tooth and it took over a year to come in, as soon as it did, he lost the other front tooth. He has been sporting this look for almost 2 years
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10202595309823118&l=cbc60aee43
I gave him the nickname “BunkerTucky” and would double over with laughter when he would make the face. However, I also was not shy about telling him how much I adored the look and how it was so unique that it made him special. When I cried at the thought of him losing that as we ‘fixed’ it with braces he actually tried to comfort me. He said, “well, the braces will probably be slow…I will have it for a while longer….we have pictures to remember it by.” Something a year and a half ago he felt awkward about turned into something he also was glad to have pictures of to remember.
The article points out, would you make someone stand on a street corner with a sign pointing out that their “cell phone was turned off because of non-payment?”
I’m pretty sure if you are my friend you don’t even have to ask. Yes, I have mocked my friends:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10201502597225986&l=c00063ec19
I have mocked my spouse:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200885875088318&l=b1f6922101
Most importantly, I have and often do mock myself
This is a picture of my pants worn though, I personally posted it on Facebook and my blog:http://allmywestboys.blogspot.com/2011/10/goals.html
In the past month alone I have mocked my cooking and my housekeeping skills on Facebook. Because I’m a martyr? No, because I realize that things are not always going to be the way you want them to be, and sometimes the best way to handle it is to Laugh. Laugh, even if it is at yourself.
In the movie Pitch Perfect a character calls herself “FatAmy”. She does this to take the words out of others mouths. She is over weight and when she feels like others are silently judging her, she points out the elephant in the room. (pun intended) Does this belittle her or tear herself down? No, it EMPOWERS her. It takes the sting out of the bee’s hands.
Another article making the FB rounds at the moment is of Lizzy Velasquez.
http://www.rightthisminute.com/video/she-was-called-ugliest-girl-world-her-response
She was treated horribly and was not coddled. She was taught how to empower herself and has found humor in disabilities. When others called her the ugliest woman alive she was able to show them the gorgeousness of her true self.
I think we can go too far on “bubble wrapping” our kids. The article points to a mother bulling her teen because she videos her teen “twerking” at a school dance. The mother mocks her into shame by posting it on Facebook. Shouldn’t our kids realize that anything you do can end up on Facebook? If the daughter is shamed by twerking then she shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. She’s kind of lucky there was only one recording that shame.
Why do we see so many HORRIBLE singers go on American Idol? They are shocked to find out that Simons cat could put out a better album while in heat. They argue and say, “I’m told I have the best voice ever” “My mom says I’m the next Mariah Carey”
At some point shouldn’t someone have been honest with these kids?
We are in a world where everyone has to win. ‘Games should be played without keeping score.’ ‘Everyone should get an award for participation.’ What does this teach? Shouldn’t someone be honest with the Frog voiced preteen and say, “Look you can be the next Mariah Carey, anything is possible. But you are going to have to work. Voice lessons, practice hours and hours a day…Like the real Mariah Carrey! If you want it you have to work for it!”
We are not all inherently wonderful at everything and should not be coddled to think we are or that we should be. At some point someone is going to video us twerking or singing a song off key. Shouldn’t we be emotionally prepared for the real world instead of having our bubble wrap popped and wondering why the real world is different from the imaginary world we were raised in?
I will not feel guilty for pointing out that a napkin shouldn’t be hard to open- and that if it is, you need to calm down and stop making life harder on yourself.
And seriously, does this look like a kid that is “Cringing in your presence and hiding their lives from you.”?
